lds divorce support
Grief- (our response to the pain - it is a death of the relationship, we only grieve something that means something to us.)
Divorce is very much like a death and grief is a natural part of it. It is grieving the losses that come with divorce. You grieve a life you used to have. You grieve the partnership, the family unit of a mother, father and children. You grieve the companionship and maybe even some friendships. Recognize that grieving is a natural part of the process. This is a crucial time to turn to the Lord. He is the only way to recovery. Let recovery be part of the process that makes you whole and lean on the Lord to heal this loss in you. We as human beings tend to want to avoid the pain rather than walk through it. If we avoid it and don't face the losses and the grief that is part of the process, we can become bitter and angry or push it down so much that it comes out in other ways or explodes like a volcano one day. There can be consequences to not grieving (if you get stuck in a stage - the bitterness sets in). Sometimes the interaction with your former spouse can hinder the recovery because while you are trying to get through the pain and work through it you are usually having to have interactions because it seems to be a constant reminder as you do interact. Past losses intensify current losses such as getting through the holidays and and having to work through big turning events in life like baptisms and weddings and just grieving the natural every day things that you no longer share with someone.
One flesh bond torn apart (you leave a part of yourself with that person- you tear apart, you don't separate. It is like
a tearing apart of the flesh and all the wounds are left open and hanging.)
The emotional damages caused by divorce:
There are multiple life losses and loss of dreams. There is the loss of a mate and a future together. This is even more complicated when there are children involved.
Identifying and grieving my losses----Identify - make a list of losses-- being aware of what those losses are helps us to deal with them and grieve them.
Phases of Grieving
- Tangled ball of emotions (Blame, Anger, Resentment)
How to Grieve
- Change my relationships with what I've lost-- ex: This person is no longer my husband. I'm going to walk on in my life without him.
- Make changes to embrace the loss-- Look at yourself and life differently. What do you have to look forward to?
- Journal, Journal, Journal! It is one of the most wonderful therapeutic tools you can use! Write your feelings and emotions down and you will notice your progress and changes over time. Journaling is a way of
- Avoiding the pain of grief
- Don't make grief your identity and don't let divorce define you. You are not defined by divorce. You are defined by a God who loves you?
- Being addicted to recovery to where we continue to try to get past it over and over again but don't really progress anywhere.
Will I truly heal?
- The presence of God is the essential the key to my healing.
- "Do you want to get well?" John 5:6
-Every tear is seen, no hurt is lost, and no pain goes unnoticed. The Lord takes it all and molds it in His hand and gives you something even better.